


on my volcano grows the grass

by seemeeimbeebee



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Emma Swan Friendship, Gen, OUAT speculation fic, So much angst, hints of captain swan and outlaw queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6337405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seemeeimbeebee/pseuds/seemeeimbeebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: An aside to 5x15, based on speculation and the “I’m going to help you get your happy ending scene” in 4x01. Swan Queen friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	on my volcano grows the grass

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from an Emily Dickinson poem of the same name. This is my first time writing with the Swan Queen dynamic, so if you can: please let me know how I did! Enjoy!

She walks away from Killian and Liam and wants to keep walking, until she collapses except she’s not even sure that’s a possibility down here. Emma finally finds that bench by the lake, except the lake is dry here. 

It feels fitting in a way. 

Or perhaps the lake is cascading down her face, wetly rattling in her chest every time she goes to take breath, fighting against the knees that are pressed against her chest. It’s quiet and peaceful but so, so isolating, and Emma wants to scream, if not for the attention she’s sure she’d draw to herself. 

She’s so angry, she feels as if she could match Hades’s heat on her own right now. Except, she’s not mad at him. She’s not mad at Killian. Or Liam. Or even Gold. 

She’s mad at herself.

What is the point of being the Savior if you can’t save the people that you love? How do you help people that don’t want to be saved? Or how do you cope with saving people in ways you don’t want to save them in? Emma wonders. 

She still can’t believe he’s leaving her.

Except, when she digs deep down, into parts of her she thought she’d outgrown, parts she thought had finally dried up like weeds in a garden...she’s not that surprised at all. 

It’s not him. It’s her. It always has been.

She goes to hide her face in her knees again.

“I don’t like that look on your face, Miss Swan,” Regina’s quiet voice sounds behind her. 

“How did you find me?” Emma asks softly.

“Even in the Underworld, you’re a creature of habit,” the other woman replies, a hint of a fond smile on her lips. “So I’ll say it again: I don’t like that look on your face.” 

“What look?” Emma rasps, wiping at her eyes. 

“The look of the woman I met in Storybrooke three years ago.” Regina sits down beside her. Emma unfurls slightly from her tense position. “So...so Barrel Chest doesn’t like you. Big deal.” Regina’s mouth twists in displeasure, as if she’s not impressed with the nickname. “Barrel Chest? I think my comebacks are starting to shrivel up and die the longer we stay down here.”

Emma lets out a noise that could be a laugh, but both women know it’s too wet for that. 

“What are you thinking?” Regina asks, almost as if she’s afraid to. 

Emma doesn’t blame her: she’s afraid to answer. She takes in a deep breath and thinks about her answer. She replies, “Magic always comes with a price”

“Yes. And?” Regina prompts. “It’s more than that. It usually is.”

“What if I’m not meant to have a happy ending? What if the price of being the Savior is that I don’t get a happy ending? So...so I’d get to bring back the happy endings. But I’d never get one.” 

It’s a thought that has crossed her mind every so often, but she can’t seem to shake it this time. Emma’s eyes drift away from Regina and to the dried up lake. “Neal...Graham...Walsh. Now Killian. Every time I think I’m going to get to be happy...I lose it,” her voice catches and the tears build again. 

It doesn’t escape her notice how Regina flinches at Graham’s name. They’ve never talked about it, but Emma knows what really happened.

Regina knows that Emma knows. 

Emma doesn’t have enough fight in her to call her out on it right now. Or maybe ever.

So she just stares out at the lake. Regina follows her gaze, and neither say a word.

They sit like that for awhile, not quite looking at each other and staring out at the empty lake, before Regina puts her gloved hand over Emma’s. “Someone once told me you have to fight for your happy endings.”

“I’m tired of fighting,” Emma whispers. “All I’ve ever done is fight. I’m so tired. I don’t know that I have it in me to fight anymore.”

“Well...that’s because you usually fight alone,” Regina says, and there’s that fondness in her tone again. “But I won’t let you fight alone. Not this time. And if you’re too tired to fight, then I’ll fight for you.” She gently nudges Emma’s shoulder with her own. “Our job’s not done until everyone gets their happy ending. Including the Savior.”

“I don’t want him to go,” Emma croaks. “I’m not ready for him to go.”

Regina squeezes her hand. “I know, Emma. I know.” She sighs and adds, “You know you won’t be alone if he does, right?” Emma’s eyes slide downward. “No, no, Miss Swan. Don’t do that. Because you won’t be alone. Your parents will be here. Henry. Robin and I. We will catch you, do you understand me?”

“Why?” Emma asks. 

“You know why.” 

The weeds wither away and a flower begins to sprout.


End file.
